If you’ve seen the Korean drama It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, you might remember the main character who cared for his autistic brother and felt like he always had to be the strong one. But the truth is that it’s impossible to have it all together or put on a brave face no matter what.
So, spoiler alert: the true healing journey for all characters starts when they accept that it’s okay to not be okay. Here is how you can do the same.
#1: It’s okay to feel differently than others
Our emotions are natural reactions to events. Let’s say you and your friend track emotions with Liven app every day for a month. At the end, you’d see that your emotional patterns and triggers differ. Perhaps your friend just went through a breakup, and sadness is a common thread. Meanwhile, you just got promoted at work, and joy dominates your chart.
In both situations, the emotions the app tracked are valid responses to what’s happening in your lives.
And this leads us to the next point…
#2: Track your mood for a while
Your emotions alert you to stressors in your environment that exhaust your mental health. For example, burnout often shows up as chronic irritation, anxiety, and mental exhaustion. If you use a mental health mood tracker like a Liven app, you may see that most of the time you get irritated, anxious, nervous, and other things. And when you’re all these things, it’s like your body telling you ‘I’m not okay because there is too much stress, caffeine, and lack of sleep.’ Simple, right?
So, here are a few moods to pay attention to:
- Apathy. Nothing excites you — not even your favorite foods or shows;
- Constant irritability. Everything and everyone feels annoying, even people you love;.
- Disappointment. You feel like you let yourself down and believe that nothing will change for better;
- Sadness and weariness. You might feel dragged down by internal heaviness that makes simple things like getting out of bed or concentrating on tasks feel like a mountain climb;
- Anxiety. A constant sense of dread or restlessness without a clear reason;
- Guilt. You take too much responsibility for things even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
#3: Notice physical health changes
Nothing that happens in your nervous system stays there. Emotional stress affects your entire body, and the latter often speaks before your mind realizes something is wrong.
Here are a few physical signs to notice:
- Stomachaches. Nausea, cramps, or irritable bowel syndrome come from the gut-and-brain connection;
- Heartache or chest pain. Emotional stress can cause tightness in the chest and high blood pressure;
- Frequent colds, headaches, or body aches. Stress weakens your immune system, therefore, makes you more prone to illness;
- Fatigue. Emotional exhaustion can leave you feeling tired even after 8 hours of sleep;
- Sleep issues. You might deal with insomnia or hypersomnia.
#4: Watch your thinking patterns
It’s okay to occasionally feel like the world’s unfair and no one treats you right. But if you beat yourself up over every single mishap, time may be to address these thought patterns.
So, track whether:
- You talk to yourself negatively all the time, “I’m not good enough,” “I always mess things up,” etc.;
- You assume the worst will happen in every situation;
- You have a black-and-white thinking: “If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure”;
- You overgeneralize, for instance, “Nothing ever works out for me”;
- You dwell on the past, avoid the present, and fear the future.
#5: Your daily habits are telling you something
You might be overeating, biting your nails, skipping showers, doom-scrolling for hours… The list goes on and on, but you get the gist: your habits are silent signals that something is wrong.
A stressed body falls into a freeze state or a hibernation mode to conserve energy as it needs to replenish resources. Those might be habits like withdrawing from the world, neglecting hygiene,or procrastinating tasks that once felt easy.
At the same time, your nervous system craves regulation aka comforting and soothing behaviors. And if you haven’t been taught healthy self-regulation strategies, you might unconsciously reach for things that numb or distract you instead.
These might include:
- Overeating or binge eating to feel momentary comfort
- Substance use (alcohol, cannabis, stimulants, etc.) to sedate yourself or escape uncomfortable thoughts
- Over-reliance on caffeine to push through exhaustion
- Compulsive shopping or spending as a temporary dopamine boost
- Excessive screen time to avoid silence or difficult thoughts
#6: Responsibilities start to feel overwhelming
It’s very common to delegate responsibilities or completely avoid them when your body is overstressed, especially if you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or burnout. Naturally, your body will crave rest, hence, avoiding daily chores or work responsibilities.
This can look like:
- Ignoring emails or texts for days
- Letting chores pile up
- Missing deadlines or appointments
- Constantly saying “I’ll do it tomorrow,” but tomorrow never comes
- Feeling paralyzed even by small tasks
When to ask for help and why it’s okay
Last but not the least, please talk to a mental health professional if you discover signs above. Especially if those signs are already interfering with your daily life.
A professional therapist can help you decode your emotions, work on your childhood trauma (if there is such), reframe your unhealthy thought patterns, and teach you some good coping mechanisms.
Final thoughts
It’s okay if you cry over a song because it reminds you of someone you lost, while your friend barely notices the lyrics.
All in all, we’ve been endowed with different traits and have gone through different experiences that’ve shaped our personalities.
However, if your emotions feel like too much and put a toll on your mental health, don’t be ashamed to ask for help. 🤗
You’re not alone, and you’ve got this! 💚
Dorothy I. Johnson is the heart and soul of Flash Flyer Blog’s writing team. Dorothy loves storytelling and finds the extraordinary in everyday life. She has a unique voice for sharing travel stories, tech trends, wellness tips, and food finds. Her relatable style makes complex ideas easy to grasp. She also turns simple moments into captivating stories. Dorothy’s background and curiosity inspire her to make content that connects with readers. They can find either practical tips or new viewpoints in her work. When she’s not writing, she likes to explore new places. She experiments in the kitchen or dives into a new personal growth book.
